


When I Think About You

by phdmama



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: College AU, F/F, Getting Together, Girl Direction, Masturbation, Parallel masturbation, Recreational Drug Use, Sort Of, Wanker's Day Fest, is that a thing?, it's not mutual, just a bit of weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 15:11:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18995140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phdmama/pseuds/phdmama
Summary: Harry is beautiful, inexperienced, and curious. Louis is smart, seasoned, and comfortable in her own body. When Harry has questions, just maybe, Louis has the answers she’s looking for.And... they’re roommates.





	When I Think About You

**Author's Note:**

> Please note, this is an explicit fic and as such, is not appropriate for those under the age of 18. 
> 
> Huge huge thanks to [my darling Lauren](https://kingsofeverything.tumblr.com/) for the beta read and the whole darn fest!
> 
> And another HUGE thank you to [my Nadia](https://justalittlelouislove.tumblr.com/) for saving me from the HORROR OF WRITING MY OWN SUMMARY.
> 
> May is Masturbation Month! I hope everyone has enjoyed themselves!
> 
> Please do not translate this work or post it on any other site, or break the 4th wall. Thank you!
> 
> As always, the words and the errors are mine.

Louis shoves open the door of the old Victorian, which has a tendency to stick, and shakes off the rain as she heads into the house. It’s Friday, chore day, so the aroma of stale beer isn’t quite so overwhelming, and she gets a whiff of something else from the south living room and grins. ‘Tails doesn’t start for another hour, but clearly, someone is pregaming. It’s been a shit day, she’s pretty sure she tanked the calc midterm, and maybe a little buzz is just what she needs.

She wanders through the wide archway and grins when she sees Harry and Mike sitting on the couch, the bong in front of them. Mike looks blazed already, and Harry looks, well, a bit irritated actually.

“I’m just saying,” Louis hears Harry sigh, “I’m not going to argue with you about whether or not New Orleans is a port city, Mike. It’s… It’s simply a matter of fact. It’s not debatable.” Louis drops onto the comfortable couch and rests her head on Harry’s shoulder, and feels rather than sees Harry turn her head to say, “Hi, Lou.”

This crush on her roommate is getting out of hand. Louis and Harry hadn’t known each other that well when they’d moved in together, Harry having joined the house the previous spring while Louis was studying abroad. Louis had been on-campus for the summer while Harry had been home in D.C., and for the fall, they’d gotten paired together in the roommate lottery. They have an awesome room, one of the best in the house, but Louis’ favorite thing about it is that Harry is there.

They’ve gotten so close in the two and a half months since the term has started, sharing early morning coffee runs and late night confidences when the lights are out. What Louis had originally thought was standoffishness turns out to be shyness, because once Harry feels comfortable enough to let down her guard, she’s wickedly funny and sharp as a tack. She’d quietly come out to Louis about a month ago, only saying “I think I like both?”

Louis’ been out since high school. She’d grown up in Cambridge, where, she’d said to Harry, it seemed like half of her graduating class from high school was somewhere in the rainbow, and it had never occurred to her that it might still be a big deal. She knows Harry comes from old money in D.C., and when she’d asked Harry if her parents had been supportive, all Harry had said was, “They don’t know. No one knows.”

So yeah, Harry is sweet, shy, smart, and funny. She’s also gorgeous as hell. She’s taller than Louis, but leaner, all lanky limbs where Louis is compact curves. Harry is effortlessly sexy, sprawling across her bed reading Wittgenstein or whoever, and Louis just aches. She feels like a creep sometimes, and resolutely doesn’t sneak glances whenever Harry is changing. Louis doesn’t _only_ want Harry, though she does want her, a bit desperately. She also _likes_ her, so so much, but she’s really not sure if it’s reciprocated. It’s not that there’s someone else; Harry hasn’t even really hooked up with anyone that Louis knows about, let alone dated anyone more seriously.

Louis snuggles in closer and lets her eyes close as the stress of the week washes away.

“You okay?” Harry asks, and then, “How’d the midterm go.”

Louis scrunches up her face and groans. “Ugh. It sucked. There was a whole section on polar coordinates that I totally forgot to study. I mean, I sort of knew them, so I don’t know.”

Harry hums a sympathetic note and runs her fingers through Louis’ short hair, and Louis hears Mike take another hit off the bong.

He exhales long and slow, and then says, “That sucks, dude. You should totally take it easy tonight.” Louis opens her eyes and Mike shoves the bong across the coffee table towards her. “Have a hit,” he advises, “Then like, go order a pizza and jack off. It’ll help. I mean,” he adds consideringly, “If girls do that sort of thing.”

Louis feels Harry stiffen against her but doesn’t think much of it as she snorts and reaches out for the bong. “Of course girls do that,” she says and takes a hit. “S’one of my favorite things, _obviously_ ,” and she and Mike grin at each other.

She and Harry decide to have a quiet night, forgoing the standard Friday night frat parties and pong games. It’s early (for college students anyway) when they head back into their room after brushing their teeth. The heat in the house is wonky and their room is stifling hot, so Harry cracks open the window to let in the damp night air. It’s still pouring, and the sound of the rain on the windows is soothing.

They both have their mattresses on the floor, and they’re spaced quite close together so they could squeeze in a second desk. That she and Harry could easily reach across the small gap to hold hands is a thought Louis has every night as she drifts off to sleep. She never does reach out.

Only the desk light is on, casting a warm glow through the room as they both strip down. Harry pulls on this random short linen nightgown that she loves when it’s hot, and Louis is in a cami and underwear. They’ve long since gotten past the awkwardness of being undressed with each other.

“You want the light out?” Harry asks, pausing by the desk as Louis flops down onto her bed and plugs in her phone.

“Nah,” Louis says, “I’m not quite ready to sleep. You?”

Harry just shakes her head. She’s been quiet all evening, and Louis’ not sure if it’s the pot they smoked or something else. She knows better than to push Harry to talk. When she’s upset, you have to give her some space, but not too much, and just generally radiate supportive vibes at her, and pretty soon she’ll come clean with whatever is bothering her.

There’s silence for a bit as they mess about on their phones. Louis quickly snaps Liam to preserve their streak and reminds Zayn that they’re going to the gym tomorrow. Zayn replies with the bicep, the middle finger, and inexplicably, the robot.

“Hey, Louis?” Harry says hesitantly and Louis grins to herself and sets down her phone.

“Yeah, babe?” she asks quietly.

You can’t be too eager to engage or it’ll scare Harry off. She’s a champion brooder, Louis has learned, so Louis has had to learn to take her time. She rolls onto her side towards Harry, who is resolutely staring at her phone.

“I was just, you know...” Harry’s voice trails off and Louis makes an encouraging face, feeling a bit like she’s trying to get her neighbor’s cat Cassandra to give her the time of day. “What you said to Mike. Is that, like... Is that true?”

Louis frowns, trying to think back on their conversation in the living room. “What, that jellyfish and lobsters are biologically immortal? It’s totally true.”

At that, Harry laughs and finally meets Louis’ gaze. “No, not that, you weirdo. That thing about girls.”

Louis stares at her blankly and then it hits her, Mike’s advice for getting over a stressful week. She rolls back onto her back and stares up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling that have apparently been there since the 80s. They still shine, and Louis loves that.

“That girls jack off?” Harry nods and Louis frowns at her. “I mean, yeah, of course. It’s totally normal. Are you… Harry, are you telling me you don’t masturbate?”

Harry flushes and looks away. “I mean, no? I don’t know. I guess sometimes I do? But like, it’s never really.” She shrugs. “I mean, he made it sound like _a thing_ , you know? Like an activity.”

Louis tries not to laugh, Harry looks so serious, but she can’t help the small snort that escapes her. “I mean,” she says carefully, “It is? An activity? A behavior? I don’t know how to describe it really.”

Harry makes a face and flops onto her pile of pillows, her breath whooshing out of her. “God, I sound like an idiot. Forget it.”

“No,” Louis says, sitting up quickly. “No, Harry, not at all. Nothing about this sounds stupid, I just. I don’t know if I really understand what you’re asking?”

“I just,” somehow Harry manages to shrug while lying dejectedly across her bed. “I feel like when I do it, it’s just to get off as quickly as possible and sometimes I can’t even come and sometimes it’s not fun and it’s just. I don’t know. Doesn’t seem so great to me? I kind of thought maybe girls just weren’t into it like boys are.”

Louis’ mind is racing and honestly, she’s still a little high. This is already the most Harry has ever opened up about sex, and the last thing Louis wants to do is scare her off from ever talking about it again.

“Well,” she says, “I mean, sure some girls might not be into it, I imagine it’s a spectrum just like anything. But there’s nothing wrong with liking to get off? And it can be, well, it can be fun to take your time?”

“I don’t think I’d even know how to do that,” Harry mumbles, and Louis can’t help herself, has to ask.

“Have you ever… you know, with anyone else?”

Harry looks a bit shocked, “What, gotten myself off?”

Louis laughs, “Or had them get you off?”

Harry shakes her head. “I never…” She shrugs. “I wasn’t particularly cool in high school, you know? And anyway, I was pretty busy with music and theater and all the studying I had to do to maintain my grades, so it never seemed that important.”

Louis shrugs. “Maybe it’s not that important to you? Or maybe you just haven’t tried, you know? I guess it always seemed to me that it was a cool thing to get to know your own body, get to know what works for you. Fantasy is a totally safe place to explore all that, you know?”

She can see Harry’s flush even in the dim light of the desk lamp. “Fantasy? Like, I don’t even know.” Harry rolls over and looks at Louis. “I feel like I’m so behind on all of this.”

Louis laughs and doesn’t give in to the urge to wrap Harry up in a hug. “Harry, that’s all bullshit. There’s no timeline, no one right way to do any of this. You just do what feels right for _you_.”

Harry snorts and looks away. “Like, read porn or something?”

Louis thinks of the folder of Teen Wolf fanfic on her laptop and shrugs. “I mean, yeah.”

Harry turns her head back, meeting Louis’ gaze again. “Or, maybe…” Her voice trails off.

“What?” Louis murmurs encouragingly, wondering if Harry is going to suggest they watch an explicit movie together. “What, babes?” She winces at the endearment but Harry doesn’t seem to notice.

“Do you think you… Uggh!” Harry flops onto her back and flings one toned arm over her face.

“What, Harry?” Louis asks gently, trying even harder to radiate accepting and encouraging vibes.

“Maybeyoucouldshowmehow?” Harry’s voice is muffled under her arm and Louis stares at her, trying to parse the words she’s just heard.

“What? You gotta say it slower, I didn’t understand,” Louis says and Harry heaves a deep sigh and drops her arm, staring up at the ceiling.

“Maybe you could show me how?”

“How what?” Louis asks, genuinely baffled. “How to read porn?”

“No,” Harry says softly, “How to get off.”

Louis freezes. “What are you asking, Harry,” she says slowly. “Are you asking me to—”

“No!” Harry almost levitates off the bed in her embarrassment. “No, I mean. God, I know you wouldn’t want to… like, just. Oh god, it’s stupid, forget I said anything.”

Her distress is palpable, voice thick with tears and Louis would do absolutely anything to keep Harry from crying, including, it seems, teach her how to masturbate.

“No, Harry. God, no, it’s fine.” She can’t believe she’s going to do this, but she can’t deny Harry anything. “I mean, it won’t be weird?”

Harry looks at Louis and flushes again. “No, it won’t…” Her voice cracks and she coughs. “I think it’ll be fine.”

There’s a look on Harry’s face that Louis can’t quite decipher but it sets something sparking deep in her belly and she starts to wonder.

“How, err. How do you want me to do this.”

Harry shrugs. “Just… like whatever you usually do? But maybe you could tell me what you’re thinking about?”

“Well, I mean, if I’m gonna really take my time a bit, I’d be naked,” Louis points out and Harry just gives a small, almost secretive smile.

“I’ve seen you naked before, Lou,” she says affectionately and Louis shrugs internally.

“Okay.”

She sits up and pulls off her cami, tossing it to the side and then wiggles out of her underpants and lays back on the pillow, then reconsiders and jumps up to rummage in her dresser drawer, pulling out her favorite dildo and a condom, as well as a towel. She considers, achingly aware of her nudity and Harry’s gaze, and then grabs the lube.

Harry makes a choking noise and then goes quiet.

“Okay?” Louis asks, settling back on the bed. She’s fully committed now and interested to see where this goes.

“Fine,” Harry says faintly. “I’m, yeah. Fine. Just… wasn’t expecting that.”

Louis’ eyes go wide. “Harry, tell me that at least you’ve got a vibrator? “

Harry shakes her head, amused, and Louis sighs dramatically. “Well, now I know what you’re getting for your birthday,” she says, walking back to her bed. “Hitachi Magic Wand it is. Anyway, it’s good to have options.”

She sets down the items she’s grabbed and thinks about how to do this. “So, you want me to just… do what I do? But tell you?”

Harry nods, and Louis wonders how high they both are that this seems natural. She doesn’t _feel_ particularly impaired, and it’s been a couple of hours since they smoked, but in the quiet of the room, the rain pouring down outside, everything feels a bit dreamlike as Louis lays down the towel and sits on the side of the bed for a moment.

Harry makes a questioning noise and Louis grins. “No one wants to sleep in the wet spot, Harold,” she says firmly, “Putting a towel down is just good sense.”

Louis cues up one of her favorite sexy-alone time playlists (“Table for One”) and the music fills the room as she lays self-consciously back on the pillows, wondering if this is the weirdest thing she’s ever done, but then she glances over, and Harry’s eyes are, if Louis’ not mistaken, fixed on her tits, and there’s a look of such hunger on her face that Louis shivers. She watches Harry’s eyes snap back up to her face.

“Are you cold?” Harry asks, and Louis shakes her head.

“No, it’s perfect. Just, you know.” Louis shrugs, hoping she can get herself in the mood, but then she remembers that look on Harry’s face and thinks, _well, that’s not going to be a problem_.

“So, normally,” Louis says, feeling a bit like she’s TA-ing, “I just sort of… start to touch myself. Relax.” She runs her hands down her body, skimming over her sides and then tracing across the gentle rise of her belly. She brings her hands back up to cup the heavy curves of her breasts, thumbs tracing over her nipples, and she feels the silky flesh pebble under her touch. She brings both thumbs to her mouth, licks them to get them nice and wet and then returns them to her breasts, arching a bit under her own touch.

She hears Harry exhale and her breath sounds a bit… ragged and Louis smiles at the ceiling. She’s starting to think she knows what’s happening here.

She feels the trace of damp her thumbs leave on her nipples and without thinking too much, says, “This is generally when I wish I had bigger tits, so I could suck my own nipples.”

Harry chokes a bit. “Can people do that?”

“Oh yeah.” Louis loses focus for a moment, glances over. “Bebe totally can, she showed me once.” She darts her tongue out and sighs, “I can’t though.”

She starts to pinch and roll her nipples, loving the way it edges towards pain but just the right side of pain, and takes a deep breath, sliding her hands back down her body. She has to admit, knowing that Harry’s watching, that Harry’s into this, it’s really doing something for her, and when she slides her fingers in between her legs, she’s not surprised to find that she’s already wet.

“Here’s where I start to think a bit about what fantasy I’m into right now… I like to play scenes out in my mind,” Louis says, feeling curiously vulnerable as she says this.

“You have, like favorites?” Harry asks, her voice a bit rough, and Louis nods, her eyes closing as her fingers dance over her skin, teasing a bit.

She’s not shaved bare. Although she likes to keep things trimmed down there, it’s been busy with midterms and things are a bit unruly at the moment, but that's okay. She tugs gently on her pubic hair, wondering what Harry’s watching. She brings one hand up to keep playing with her nipples.

“Mmmmhmmm,” she says, letting her finger dip in between her labia, feels the moisture gathering there, runs her finger briefly across her clit to set sparks dancing and then backs off again.

“Like what?” Harry asks, sounding genuinely curious and Louis wonders that she doesn’t seem to fantasize.

“Like, oh…” Louis flips through some of her go-to fantasies in her mind, “Like, stranger in the locker room at the gym, or business executive getting eaten out under her desk, or massage therapist, oohh that’s a good one.”

“I don’t think I visualize in quite the same way,” Harry says in a choked voice, and Louis glances over at her.

With one hand on her left breast and the other sitting low on her belly, Harry’s flushed down below the neckline of her nightie. Louis is not even sure if Harry realizes she’s gently massaging her own breast. 

“That sucks,” Louis sympathizes, remembering how frustrated Harry had gotten at that stress reduction workshop on meditation. “But you could just, like, I dunno, narrate the story. That’s what I do.”

“Can you…” Harry’s voice trails off and Louis lets her eyes close again. “Would you be, like, comfortable with that?”

“Hmmm,” Louis says. “Yeah. Anything sound good?”

“Uh, how about massage therapist? That sounded… yeah.” Harry sounds a bit breathless and Louis smiles.

“So, yeah. I just keep… kind of teasing myself a bit here, this is just about feeling good, you know, not trying to get all the way there yet, just…” Louis moves with her hands, she knows her own body so well at this point, and she’s already turned on. Not close, not yet, but wet and beginning to ache.

“So, I just imagine, like, I’m at a high-end spa.” She can see it in her mind’s eye, the massage table, the low lights, can almost smell the essential oils and hear the gentle soundtrack in her head, whale songs maybe, superimposed over the low beat she’s got playing now.

“And like, the massage therapist is super hot, and she’s wearing...” Louis flushes and sighs, but she’s _in_ this, and she trusts Harry. “Like, one of those sexy nurse costumes? Super short and tight, and unbuttoned so I can see her breasts a bit.”

“Like I wore for Halloween?” Harry asks and it’s Louis’ turn to cough.

“Err, yeah,” she says. “Like that.”

“Gotcha,” Harry murmurs, like she’s building a picture on her mind, and Louis lets herself return to the fantasy.

“First she has me on my belly, and she’s working my legs, and her fingers just sort of…” Louis lets her own fingers drag over her inner thighs. “They just sort of whisper over me, so light it could be an accident, but I know it’s not, and my legs just sort of drop open.”

Louis’ legs fall open and she lets her fingers follow those of the imaginary woman working her body as she speaks.

“And then, she has me turn on my back, you know, like they do, holding the sheet, and she works my chest.”

Louis brings her hands back up to her pecs and rubs firmly and then starts to slide them lower.

“Then, she just starts to massage my breasts, and she’s leaning over me from behind so her breasts are sort of… right in my face, and I could just take one in my mouth…”

“Do you?” Harry gasps, and Louis glances over, to find Harry’s eyes closed, nightie shoved up around her waist as she strokes over the cotton of her undies, and fuck, Louis can see even in this dim light, that Harry’s getting wet.

“Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t,” Louis says, watching the way Harry’s hand moves over her own body.

Seems like Harry’s getting the lesson she needs.

“You should,” Harry groans. “You should just reach up and unbutton her dress until her breasts just sort of… spill out.”

“Okay,” Louis agrees, not wanting to scare Harry off by commenting on her natural talent at this. “I do that, I reach up as she stretches down over my body and as her hands get lower, I start swirling my tongue around her nipple and she… What does she do, Harry?”

It’s a risk, Louis knows, pulling Harry into it like this, but she watches the way Harry arches up under her own touch, eyes closed, but Harry just nods.

“She presses down into you,” Harry whispers, and Louis watches her fingers disappear under the waistband of her undies. “She wants you to…”

“I suck a bit harder,” Louis says, remembering the sight of Harry in that sexy nurse’s costume, and imagines it’s Harry leaning over her now, that it’s Harry’s full breast she’s sucking into her mouth, feeling the way Harry’s nipple tightens up under her tongue.

“I keep sucking, and she slides her hands down onto my belly,” Louis says, her hands mimicking the action. “And then, she moves around the table, and I make a sound, you know, of disappointment as she pulls away from me, and she just…” Louis imagines Harry glancing back up at her and grinning, saying something like  _There’s time for that, just let me…_

“What does she do?” Harry asks and Louis can see that she’s working her clit now, her strokes firm and rhythmic between her legs.

“Hmm.” Louis thinks a moment, and then says, “She sits down on her stool and pulls me down the table so she can get her mouth on me.”

Harry flat-out moans.

Louis’ hand is working faster now, too, as she imagines it, the dim light of the room, much like this one. She bends her knees, planting her feet, and rolls her hips in time with her hand.

“She starts eating me out,” she says, eyes closing as she imagines it. “And before she starts, she says, _You gotta be quiet, baby, we don’t want anyone listening in, do we?_ And there are voices outside the door and I know that they could hear me, they could know what’s going on, and fuck, it gets me going.”

She’s so wet now, her fingers gliding easily over her skin as she pulls apart the lips and strokes, circling first one way, then the other, then back and forth, mixing it up a bit.

“She’s eating me out so good.” Louis groans, hips rocking now as she pictures it, pictures tangling her fingers in Harry’s curls, pictures Harry’s sinful lips on her pussy, licking her clit as she strokes herself.

“Is that when you come?” Harry gasps, her own hips rocking in time to match Louis’, their mattresses creaking in tandem to their movements. Louis longs to reach out, cover Harry’s hand with her own, slip her fingers in where Harry’s are, maybe slide down and toss Harry’s legs over shoulders.

“Not yet,” Louis says softly. “My favorite part is that after I come in this fantasy, I say to her, _can I do you?_ And she says… What do you say, Harry?”

“I say...” Harry gasps. “Fuck, I say god, baby, yes, _yes_. And then I… What do I do, Louis? I don’t know what to do.” Her voice is frantic, her head thrown back onto her pillows as she touches herself and Louis lets herself want.

“You climb up onto the table,” Louis says. “And you move up over me, and I say _sit on my face, baby, let me eat you out_ , and fuck.” She moans. “I can smell you, you’re so turned on. I reach up to squeeze your breasts and then I slide my hands down over your hips and pull you up over me. And you brace yourself and lower down and let me lick you, let me eat you out, and oh fuck, Harry, you taste so good and you smell so good, and I’m so fucking turned on.”

She can feel her own orgasm rising now, not quite to that point of inevitability, but almost there, almost there, and then.

“And I just plunge my tongue into you, and you grind down on me, and you’re just surrounding me.” Louis’ hand moves faster, more purposeful. She’s so close, so close now. “And I imagine you just letting me work you over, and I reach up, and I slide one finger into you, and…”

Harry gives a long, low cry and Louis looks over to see her pressed back against her pillows, thighs clenched, head thrown back as she comes, mouth open and chest heaving. She’s the most beautiful thing Louis’ ever seen.

“You come,” Louis whispers, knowing she’s going to come, feeling it build. “And I feel the way you spasm around me, and it’s so good, so fucking good, and I did that, I made you feel that way and I…” her voice trails off, she groans and it overtakes her, one of those orgasms that slingshots through her from clit to gut and then up her whole body, leaving her vibrating and trembling.

For a long moment, there are no words between them, just the sound of their gasping breaths, and Louis can hear her heart hammering in her ears as she shudders. This is where, if she were alone, she’d keep going, sending herself up and over again. But she waits, fingers still on her body as she looks over at Harry, who finally opens her eyes and looks back at Louis, a small, sleepy, satisfied grin playing about the corners of her mouth.

“Hey, Lou?” Harry says finally, her voice low and rough, and Louis braces herself, but Harry just looks so damn smug, so pleased, that Louis lets go of any fear.

“Yeah?” Louis asks, still breathless and hearing it in her own voice. “Yeah, Harry?”

Harry just rolls onto her side and then reaches over across the gap between their two beds to trace her fingers down Louis’ cheek, and then she takes Louis' hand.

“I think about you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I absolutely love all comments and kudos!
> 
> Honestly, I didn't think writing a girl direction was a thing I would do, but here we are. I hope you liked it! It feels much oddly more vulnerable to be putting this fic out into the world. 
> 
> Feel free to [come say hi on Tumblr!](http://phd-mama.tumblr.com/) If you enjoyed this, the rest of my stuff can be [found here!](http://archiveofourown.org/users/phdmama/works)


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